1. Black is flattering
Doesn't matter what "season" you are or what your body shape is like: you're gonna look hot in black. It's just a fact.
2. People fuck with you way less
.... and that goes triple if you slap some dark sunglasses on. I've noticed a significant decrease in creepy comments when I'm walking around in head-to-toe black. Dudes will still look at you, but then they'll quickly avert their eyes and scurry away, before you have time to cast a spell on them or something. You will occasionally get a meddling old hen telling you to wear more color, but as long as you perfect your blank, skeptical stare, it won't be a problem.
3. Shopping becomes crazy fast...
You only have to look at the black items of clothing in the store, so you're going to blow through those racks WAY faster.
4. ...As does getting dressed
You know what matches black? Black. (Well, there is the issue of different "shades" of black, but I say embrace the subtle tonal differences.) Go ahead, get dressed in the dark, before your coffee. You'll look great and you'll save time and creative energy for other things.
Darks AND lights? Ain't nobody got time for that. (Pro-tip: wash your blacks in cold water, they'll stay darker longer. When they start fading you can always pep them up with a little Rit dye. Or pep them...down, I guess.)
You know what's tough to stain? Black.
7. You feel like a badass
Wearing all black is basically like wearing an exoskeleton made of confidence.
8. Black is classic
Barring certain trendy silhouettes, your clothes won't be going out of fashion anytime soon.
The ultimate "trying without trying" look.
10. Pretty much appropriate for any occasion
Okay, maaaaybe cave and wear some gray to that spring garden wedding if you're really worried, but for the most part, in the words of fabulous fashion weirdo/genius Karl Lagerfeld, "One is never over-dressed or underdressed with a little black dress."
Yep so... prettttty much the best. Looking to craft a little black into your wardrobe? Lemme point you over here...